Making the decision to take this space (and my worth) seriously by integrating more of a Masculine side of me over the past few months has changed more than just the amount of income I make. I enjoy the money because I enjoy being free, but making a profit is so much more than money. The amount of focus, learning and self-honesty that had to happen to generate the income I am currently making is why my life is feeling beautiful these days. I set a goal and I reached it because I had the courage to unlearn what was taught to me and learn new skills to align with something more truthful in terms of who I am and what I want this world to be.
To answer your second question:
I don't feel overwhelmed because I came back to this space strategically. I created boundaries for everything. Going as far as taking wifi out of my apartment so I couldn't work from home. I needed a clear boundary between the world I share with the world and the world I keep for me. I also set boundaries in relation to who could and could not email me. I answer client e-mails and e-mails through the diary's Self-Care Community and if I don't get to all of them right away because I'm out enjoying my life, that's okay.
Most people who resonate with my work also resonate with the term light worker, someone who knows they are here to bring light to this world. Though I usually lean away from that term, when terrorist attacks and other world tragedies happen, being a lightworker becomes my reason to get out of bed. As someone with awareness of energy and the awareness for my body and mind's ability to transmute pain into hope, negativity into positivity, I have a duty to get conscious about my mindset and actions when tragedy hits. As someone drawn to this site, you do too. Being a lightworker means being a light despite the pain; it's easy to be positive and mindful when things are going well, it's a lot harder when your heart, mind, body and soul are grieving. And that's what I want to talk about today.
Read MoreIt's not like me to blog on Sundays and this wordsmith doesn't know where to start with her words. She just knows she needs to write them. So I guess I'll just start with: caring about the world can get really heavy sometimes. And I'm certain some of you might have noticed that energy in me. An energy of needing to walk away for a bit. First from Instagram, then from e-mails. An energy of getting laser-focused on what I need to do and letting the rest fall away.
Read MoreI get it. I've been there. Right where you are, in that moment of complete devastation with no idea how to move forward or if you even can move forward, wondering what just happened. In that moment of shock where nothing makes sense, replaying it all in your head, trying to figure out where you went wrong and what you could have done differently, and I just want you to know that someday, in hindsight, this is all going to make sense. Someone choosing to leave your life happens for you, not to you. Space has been created for something new to take his place, maybe a new and improved relationship with a more mature you and him, maybe something else entirely, but I know how much it hurts, especially where you're expected to get up every day and be of service to others, and so I know it's not easy to see opportunity where you feel despair.
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It’s been years now. Years of not feeling like myself. Years of doubting my decisions and what I want to create + put out. Taking one step and then losing my sense of momentum. Having a morning of inspiration and feeling flat again by the afternoon. Writing helps, but I haven’t been doing it.