Making the decision to take this space (and my worth) seriously by integrating more of a Masculine side of me over the past few months has changed more than just the amount of income I make. I enjoy the money because I enjoy being free, but making a profit is so much more than money. The amount of focus, learning and self-honesty that had to happen to generate the income I am currently making is why my life is feeling beautiful these days. I set a goal and I reached it because I had the courage to unlearn what was taught to me and learn new skills to align with something more truthful in terms of who I am and what I want this world to be.
To answer your second question:
I don't feel overwhelmed because I came back to this space strategically. I created boundaries for everything. Going as far as taking wifi out of my apartment so I couldn't work from home. I needed a clear boundary between the world I share with the world and the world I keep for me. I also set boundaries in relation to who could and could not email me. I answer client e-mails and e-mails through the diary's Self-Care Community and if I don't get to all of them right away because I'm out enjoying my life, that's okay.
It’s been years now. Years of not feeling like myself. Years of doubting my decisions and what I want to create + put out. Taking one step and then losing my sense of momentum. Having a morning of inspiration and feeling flat again by the afternoon. Writing helps, but I haven’t been doing it.