How My Dreams Actually Manifested Into My Reality
i hope to trigger you
to say something that hurts you
makes you think
because we as a world are counting on you
to do what you came to do
to heal the wounds
you arrived with
and those you carry because of the suit you are wearing
so we as a people can be free
what we’ve been wanting:
*A poem for all who hurt me, to love me, by showing me the wounds I held within so I could heal them, and in turn, this planet. Mirroring.
Read This If ‘Living Your Purpose’ Isn’t Working
I’ll never forget stumbling across ‘the Law of Attraction’ and wondering how that could be a thing. On one hand, it was validating, because even as a child I knew not all was as it seemed. Magic to me, was as real as this tea I am drinking. But I’m also an earth sign and value practicality. I need real, tangible proof to feel sure of something.
So I was torn.
Could we really create things with our thinking?
Was I really in control of my reality?
Especially where I had lived 20+ years without knowledge of this ‘law’ and there was no way I manifested some of what I experienced. There is no way I asked for everything that happened to me. That was challenging to even begin to believe.
But it turns out we can.
And I am.
And my knowledge of the Law of Attraction and the other energetic laws that govern our lives as human beings has only grown since then. Because I’ve been given my proof.
Again, and again.
In so many forms.
And with so many things; from relationships to clients to health and wellbeing. For myself and others.
So I no longer question my ability to create my world.
And I no longer misuse my words.
(As they are our wand.)
But I know when you are first learning about the Law of Attraction there is a need to know how it really works. A need for proof. And I know that when you’re in that place of just beginning to see the influence you have over your reality, other people’s stories can be make or break because they give you reason to take your power seriously.
Empaths & Boundary Setting
If you’ve been following my journey, you know I’ve known I’ve had a purpose since I was an infant.
Something I was here to be doing.
And I was deeply depressed until I started living it, because it is who I am, and it is why I am here on this planet.
And not living it created a void in me that nothing filled - until I started speaking.
Sharing the skills I’ve learned that help make being an empath a good thing.
Anyone who knows they are here for a reason knows that reason sits in your bones and makes you miserable.
It consumes you.
a slow leak;
where one day you realize you’ve been drowning.
For others, it’s more sudden.
A breakup causes a breakthrough, or something else shifts you.
And you realize you can’t keep living the way you were.
Give & Take or Give until you Break? The Art of Receiving
Do you have them?
Do you know about them?
Thoughts on them?
Learning to set and enforce boundaries has been a bigggg part of my journey - and it was actually in the conversation where I learned I was an empath that the therapist asked me if I had them. I said no and she sent me home with a bundle of worksheets to begin implementing. The process seemed simple: decide what you do and do not want to experience and communicate it with those your decision will impact. But when I got out into the real world and began practicing what the worksheets were saying I realized very quickly that setting boundaries wasn’t easy.
Because boundaries require a hard no.
A line in the sand.
A decision on what I will and will not stand.
It’s a black and white process.
But I see the world as colourful.
I see why boundaries are important, but also why they put up walls or leave people out.
And I don’t like that.
I like to be accommodating. I don’t want to be mean. I’m filled with reasons for believing others have the best intentions and I don’t need protecting. But as I’ve learned, a yes to someone else is often a no to ourselves, especially when we are prone to over-giving. And that’s an important thing for those of us aware of having a calling to realize if we are to fulfill our mission.
Without them, we spend our days bending over backwards to meet people and their needs.
Or in relationships that aren’t fulfilling.
Because we like helping.
We can see the potential in something.
Masculine & Feminine Energies
This world runs on give and take.
Ebb and flow.
Doing for others and having others do for you.
But for us empaths, it often looks like give until you break.
Or burn out.
Or get sick.
Because we are upper chakra beings (if you joined me for the free course I lead last week, you know what that means! If you didn’t, I’m running it again mid December. Here’s the link to join waitlist.) with big hearts that enjoy giving back and helping others. Which is a beautiful thing until it isn’t.
Over-giving leads to feeling drained and from a drained place, it’s impossible to create change.
The topic of receiving has been a big one for me this year.
I had to learn to receive payment for my expertise.
I had to learn to receive compliments and praise.
I had to learn to receive support and feedback from those who love me and those who have the knowledge I need to keep my business growing.
And it wasn’t easy because to me, giving was an addiction.
A New Beginning
Something I’ve been skirting around for the last year has been the Masculine and Feminine energies. I haven’t checked, but it’s safe to say I mentioned the two archetypes (the ‘Masculine’ and ‘Feminine’) in every post I’ve written in all of 2018 (including this post where I talked about calling in my inner Masculine and this poem where my inner Masculine and inner Feminine finally started getting along) — because this year has been about learning balance.
First within, and now with each other.
Reduces to an 11.
Which reduces further to a 2.
2s represent balance, partnership and union in numerology.
Patience, and Why I Haven't Been Writing
It’s live! The new diary. Filled to the brim with the feeling of the world I want to live in. It’s also two months late, and I want to talk a bit about that because it’s late because I felt safe. Having the cover-page up on this site allowed me to breathe in a way I haven’t breathed for almost two years because I knew no one was reading my story. And I wanted to stay in those waters a little while. Because it reminded me of the sacredness of sharing myself with the world. And through that, the worth of my words. Feeling free showed me just how many people I had been supporting. In many ways, I’ve felt like a bird right before he takes off. When he flaps his wings to build up a bit of momentum; when he’s building up the courage to keep going…
Where do I start? It’s been months! Two to be exact. And then a month between posts before that.
As someone with a bio that reads ‘I write for empaths’ I haven’t been doing my job. And for the first time I’ve been okay with that because my spirit knew I needed time inside my own heart.
I needed space to figure things out.
Because this work is hard.
And when you’re making moves in front of an audience it’s really easy to turn what you do into an art. A performance. And as lovely as it is to perform, I never want to be someone who puts on a show. I’m here to be real. I get nauseous if I can’t be myself.
So I stepped back to make sure the life I was building was a life that I want.
To sit here and write this took discipline.
A break from my feminine, where I have been,
Living the melodies that accompany the questioning of things.
Painting my days with the colours that make black and white reality.
Far from my usual drive to share what I was experiencing; choosing instead to slow into my own energy.
My own healing.
I let the diary fall away to chase butterflies.
And heal parts of me I didn’t know needed healing.