When You Feel Like Giving Up on Your Dreams: A Letter for Visionaries
The 3 Myths that Keep Empaths from their Purpose
*This post first appeared in 2018 but has since been edited.
The past few months have been months of radical transformation.
The things I could only dream last December are manifesting. It's surreal. Eerie, really. Especially as I sit here in the library I sat in often when life felt overwhelming... and I felt defeated in my mission.
If you've taken any of my more recent workshops I've spoken openly about how the end of 2017 was difficult on me. I had a vision for who I wanted to be and big plans for what this space might be, but gave my power away to fate and forgot my duty to co-create my reality. I understood the Law of Attraction... and even wrote a book on the theories of manifestation, but theory is just theory without application.
So I crashed and burned; physically, mentally, emotionally, financially.
In a very public way.
It was embarrassing, yet common for us Healers/Feelers/Empaths/Intuitive Beings.
Because we are so driven to create freedom based lives and fulfill our purpose that we abandon conventionality and dive headfirst into service, armed only with the theory of what it takes to create a happy reality... forgetting that success requires we face reality.
The Truth About Self Love
I was on Pinterest the other day and noticed a quote with my name on it circulating the platform. I didn’t recognize it and thought perhaps someone created it based on a piece of my content. Turns out, I DID make it but forgot about it because it was from one of my first posts. Seeing it threw me down a tunnel of nostalgia and remembering all the feelings I felt when I decided to take a risk on myself and start writing on this blog I now call the diary.
At the time I had just graduated from social work, excited to have the degree and to be part of such an admiral profession, but also deeply aware that being a traditional social worker wasn’t my purpose. I’ve known since I was an infant that I came here with a mission - and a 9 to 5 didn’t feel like it. In fact, a 9 to 5 felt conflicting. Limiting. And not what I was here to be doing. So on the prompting of an ex boyfriend I started writing.
And though he was wonderful in getting me started, I don’t give him all the credit.
Because getting to this point took overcoming so many limiting beliefs that were deeply programmed into my psyche. Beliefs I had to show up to fight against each and every day for the first few months of showing up for my purpose. And since I know another wave of healers and creatives are now being prompted to show up, I want to share three of the biggest myths incase you too are struggling.
If You Don’t Yet See Your Worth, You Might Need These Words
It’s Valentine’s Day and I woke up so happy for all the love in the air. The air is buzzing and I can feel it because I’m a match for it, which wasn’t always my reality. For years Valentines Day felt like expectation. For myself and the men I was dating. It felt like judgement, around capitalism and “all the ways holidays are used for profit”. It felt like comparison, especially when it came to my relationships and how we were and were not comparing to others. Or worse, comparing myself to those in relationships if I wasn’t in one.
But this year?
This year is different.
I feel love and nothing but it.
It’s a safe feeling.
And from within.
Not manufactured. Not outsourced. It’s not something someone gave me wrapped in a box or sitting in a vase. (Though I love gifts and flowers are my weakness.) It’s something I feel.
Last night I hit a wall.
Or more rather, collapsed into a puddle on the floor.
So I recorded it.
Incase you’re going through it too.
Cause learning this is what we signed up for.
How My Dreams Actually Manifested Into My Reality
i hope to trigger you
to say something that hurts you
makes you think
because we as a world are counting on you
to do what you came to do
to heal the wounds
you arrived with
and those you carry because of the suit you are wearing
so we as a people can be free
what we’ve been wanting:
*A poem for all who hurt me, to love me, by showing me the wounds I held within so I could heal them, and in turn, this planet. Mirroring.
Read This If ‘Living Your Purpose’ Isn’t Working
I’ll never forget stumbling across ‘the Law of Attraction’ and wondering how that could be a thing. On one hand, it was validating, because even as a child I knew not all was as it seemed. Magic to me, was as real as this tea I am drinking. But I’m also an earth sign and value practicality. I need real, tangible proof to feel sure of something.
So I was torn.
Could we really create things with our thinking?
Was I really in control of my reality?
Especially where I had lived 20+ years without knowledge of this ‘law’ and there was no way I manifested some of what I experienced. There is no way I asked for everything that happened to me. That was challenging to even begin to believe.
But it turns out we can.
And I am.
And my knowledge of the Law of Attraction and the other energetic laws that govern our lives as human beings has only grown since then. Because I’ve been given my proof.
Again, and again.
In so many forms.
And with so many things; from relationships to clients to health and wellbeing. For myself and others.
So I no longer question my ability to create my world.
And I no longer misuse my words.
(As they are our wand.)
But I know when you are first learning about the Law of Attraction there is a need to know how it really works. A need for proof. And I know that when you’re in that place of just beginning to see the influence you have over your reality, other people’s stories can be make or break because they give you reason to take your power seriously.
Empaths & Boundary Setting
If you’ve been following my journey, you know I’ve known I’ve had a purpose since I was an infant.
Something I was here to be doing.
And I was deeply depressed until I started living it, because it is who I am, and it is why I am here on this planet.
And not living it created a void in me that nothing filled - until I started speaking.
Sharing the skills I’ve learned that help make being an empath a good thing.
Anyone who knows they are here for a reason knows that reason sits in your bones and makes you miserable.
It consumes you.
a slow leak;
where one day you realize you’ve been drowning.
For others, it’s more sudden.
A breakup causes a breakthrough, or something else shifts you.
And you realize you can’t keep living the way you were.
Give & Take or Give Until You Break? The Art of Receiving
Do you have them?
Do you know about them?
Thoughts on them?
Learning to set and enforce boundaries has been a bigggg part of my journey - and it was actually in the conversation where I learned I was an empath that the therapist asked me if I had them. I said no and she sent me home with a bundle of worksheets to begin implementing. The process seemed simple: decide what you do and do not want to experience and communicate it with those your decision will impact. But when I got out into the real world and began practicing what the worksheets were saying I realized very quickly that setting boundaries wasn’t easy.
Because boundaries require a hard no.
A line in the sand.
A decision on what I will and will not stand.
It’s a black and white process.
But I see the world as colourful.
I see why boundaries are important, but also why they put up walls or leave people out.
And I don’t like that.
I like to be accommodating. I don’t want to be mean. I’m filled with reasons for believing others have the best intentions and I don’t need protecting. But as I’ve learned, a yes to someone else is often a no to ourselves, especially when we are prone to over-giving. And that’s an important thing for those of us aware of having a calling to realize if we are to fulfill our mission.
Without them, we spend our days bending over backwards to meet people and their needs.
Or in relationships that aren’t fulfilling.
Because we like helping.
We can see the potential in something.
This world runs on give and take.
Ebb and flow.
Doing for others and having others do for you.
But for us empaths, it often looks like give until you break.
Or burn out.
Or get sick.
Because we are upper chakra beings (if you joined me for the free course I lead last week, you know what that means! If you didn’t, I’m running it again mid December. Here’s the link to join waitlist.) with big hearts that enjoy giving back and helping others. Which is a beautiful thing until it isn’t.
Over-giving leads to feeling drained and from a drained place, it’s impossible to create change.
The topic of receiving has been a big one for me this year.
I had to learn to receive payment for my expertise.
I had to learn to receive compliments and praise.
I had to learn to receive support and feedback from those who love me and those who have the knowledge I need to keep my business growing.
And it wasn’t easy because to me, giving was an addiction.