Falling for these? Real talk on 'Empath Traits & Abilities'
I got an email last week asking if I was okay because I haven't been as present with my writing. My quick answer was “thank you for checking in on me! Lots happening behind the scenes. My courses, a new album (first track out tomorrow!) and lots of living!”
But beneath that has been a deeper shift.
Cause the truth is, beneath the ‘busy’ I’ve been questioning a lot of things, and a big one is if I’m still an empath.
The answer is, yes.
But for a moment I didn’t know, because I realized I don’t fit the 'list of traits' anymore.
I don’t forgo my own needs.
Or feel random bouts of unexplainable mental or physical fatigue.
Or experience mood swings.
Or do everything and anything for ANY other being.
That’s no longer part of my story.
Because I’ve learned to speak up, and set boundaries.
And when I feel fatigued I’m able to spot the source and choose to not absorb it.
My mood doesn’t swing; but my emotions do alert me and I’ve fallen in love with all their messaging as they are an asset when manifesting! Like now at this full moon in Capricorn, I know the discomfort in my body is showing me habits I need to outgrow and feelings I need to feel to move forward.
I’ve also gotten clear on who I am here to serve. And that’s not everybody.
And I’m surrounded by friendships that are give and take, and a partner who is loving.
So for a minute I thought I outgrew all this. For a moment I thought it was time to close my blog and shift. Because my spirit doesn't hurt like it did. She's actually quite fulfilled :) But what I realized is that I haven’t outgrown it; I’m still deeply in-tune and sensitive, and connected to my spirit, and here on a mission. I remember my past lives, I am aware of the bigger picture and I am very much more spirit than I am human.
I’ve just shed my old skin.
Because so much of what we think an empath is, actually isn’t.
So much of what gets labelled as 'being an empath' is actually old wounds and collective beliefs that don't serve us. Not if we are to be change-makers and wayshowers. And artists, creatives and healers.
Being an empath is a beautiful thing, not draining.
And we are here to live our callings, not stay small in people pleasing.
When I created the Empowered Empath journaling course in early 2018 I thought it was a one-time thing. I realize now, it’s a revolution I’m here to lead. I created it after hitting my own rock bottom and realizing the traits in which I found my identity ("being an empath") were actually limiting me.
Like 'being selfless' - it's a trait on every empath list and it scared me how falling for that made me a doormat for others to take advantage of my time, energy and expertise.
And the idea that it was normal (and okay!) for people to 'dump their problems on me' - it didn't take me long to see how that was disempowering (to them and me!) and kept me from my dreams.
Or believing it was wrong to want to be paid for my abilities. That one took a bit more inner work, but I realized the silliness and how it's just a reflection of a bigger issue: and that's that as a world we still don't value the feminine skillset. We still don't value energetic and emotional labor. Think about it, we don't pay our friends for listening to our problems, or carrying us through a heartbreak, but we certainly pay for plumbing and getting help with our taxes. Those are givens, asking to be paid for what us empaths are naturally good at, isn't. And I didn't like that, so I stopped those beliefs in their tracks.
2019 is the year of expansion and we can't expand if we are tied to an identity that is limiting.
The part of ‘being an empath’ that is still relevant is that we have a purpose and we came in knowing it. We have third eyes that are open to what needs to change. We have gifts that this world needs. We are clear channels for a different way of doing things, but we can’t do that until we first get this. And that's that pain and struggle isn't what makes us empaths. It's what makes us disempowered and a lot less potent.
QUESTION FOR YOU
As I write this, it’s the Capricorn full moon and full moons are all about releasing what does not serve you. So if this resonates with you, take a moment to ask yourself if 'being an empath' holds you back.
Is it a fit for what you really want?
Like a loving partner: you can't have that if you believe it's your role to be the one who cares more. Or a healing business: that requires you facing the root of over-giving, as thank yous won't feed you. Or listening: how can you help wake this world if you don't start being the one speaking YOUR truth?
We cover power leaks in the journaling course and so many realize they leak their power to the empath label itself, and I get it. But it doesn't have to be that way. And can't be if we are going to create change.
Not sure what I mean by the ‘empath traits’?
Here’s a list I did up of the differences.
If you still identify with the ones on the left, and they don't fit with the life you want to live, I created the Empowered Empath Journaling Course to help you shift.
We aren't here to be doormats, or put everyone else before ourselves. Or stay quiet about the impact we want to make on this world. Or anything else we might have been told. And we definitely aren't here to live our lives drained. We came to share our gifts and abilities, create new systems and ways of doing things, live lives that are deeply fulfilling, and from our joy be a light that shows others what's possible.
But that starts with us giving ourselves permission to grow and not struggle so much anymore.
And that takes the brave act of letting go.