The 10 things I wish I knew when I first started using the Law of Attraction
One of my favourite things to talk about is the power we have to shape our lives due to an energy law called the Law of Attraction. If you've found this blog you are most likely interested in personal growth and familiar with the law but maybe not seeing the results you expected. Manifesting is very real, and you can live a creative and intentional life, but if you're new to the practice, it takes a lot of work. Something we don't often talk about and the main reason people quit soon into the process and become skeptical. But I don't want you to quit! I want you to be successful, to feel the magic that is all around us and learn how to tap into that magic to create a beautiful life. One that is easier. One that is intentional.
Over the past few years I've taken my manifesting practice from skeptic to asking, believing, receiving on the daily. Today I'm going to share 10 things that have helped me create a life I am excited about, because I want that for you too. If you're new to the LOA keep reading. If you've been at this for a while, feel free to scroll to the list below.
WHAT IS THE LOA?
The LOA is based on 2 beliefs:
1. Everything in our world is energy.
2. Like energy attracts like energy.
Our thoughts are energy and the things we want to bring into our lives are energy. When the two energies are similar, they come together like moth to a flame. Because we can control our thoughts, we can control what happens in our lives - to a degree, see point 10 for more on this. Focusing on positive things brings positive things and focusing on negative things, brings negative things.
Understanding the LOA is especially important for empaths, because of our natural tendency to feel deeply. Emotions carry strong energetic vibrations. The stronger a vibration, the quicker the manifestation. For someone who is awake and self-aware, this is a great thing. For someone who is unaware of their abilities and unknowingly taking on another's emotions as their own, this can be problematic.
MY LOA STORY
Like most LOA stories, mine started when a family member gave me a copy of The Secret during a rough time in my life. I did as the book said and made a list of everything I wanted and jumped right into visualization, affirmations, and being happy. At first my success was limited. But four years later my thoughts quickly become things and I find myself naturally practicing the principles of the LOA in my day-to-day life.
Most recently I manifested a trip to Sweden, which got me thinking about the days I spent not really believing in the LOA hype... which made me think about how far I've come since! Everything is energy and manifesting works, but there is so much more to it than simply asking for what you want and waiting on the sidelines for it to happen.
THE 10 THINGS I WISH I KNEW
1. You will be resistant at first:
I spent my first three years working with the LOA not really believing it was real. I was hopeful and inspired, but not convinced. I needed constant reassurance it worked. I read hundreds of articles and blog posts of other people's success stories but there was a space within me that questioned it. Realizing my power to create things was gradual. We've been trained to believe we have no control and that miracles/magic are not real. Unlearning those things and strengthening our faith in a different way of being takes time. Oftentimes things get worse before they get better, or you get on a manifesting spree and suddenly everything crashes. Just because you learned the 'Secret' doesn't mean everything will be wonderful, and just because something difficult happens, doesn't mean the LOA isn't real. Difficult times happen to increase our faith, which naturally reduces our resistance. To be successful at the LOA, we need to embrace the ebb and flow and remain faithful during hard times.
2. You can't fake happy:
Most LOA advice tells you to "decide what you want, ask the universe for it and wait, while being as happy as possible". Unfortunately, most people find the law of attraction during times of heartbreak and loss and set out to be 'happy' in the wrong way. The universe responds to energy and when happiness is forced and faked, the energy is forced and faked. Happiness needs to be genuine so the energy is genuine. Most people are afraid to feel their emotions because they don't want to attract the bad stuff. But we need to feel our emotions to get through them. Let yourself grieve, let yourself be mad, disappointed, heartbroken. When you aren't happy, when things really, really suck, don't force happiness. Let things suck. Be patient with yourself and only return to what makes you happy when you can, and if you return to happy things and decide you need more time to be angry or sad, let yourself be OK with that. All emotions serve a purpose.
If you're not sure what makes you happy, think about the things that make you lose track of time. For me this is advocating through writing, having deep chats with friends, talking about energy and sensitivity, going out in nature, and hanging out with my pup.
3. It's all about the inner work:
The outer world is a reflection of our inner worlds. Where you are now is the result of the thoughts you had in the past. In order to change your thoughts and consequently your circumstances, you need to do the inner work required to shift your beliefs. Shifting beliefs takes work. Go to therapy, learn how to Tap, or book a session with a Reiki Master or Theta Healer. When you find yourself stuck or in an uncomfortable situation, ask yourself what beliefs might have put you there and then get proactive with finding ways to create new beliefs that are in better alignment with where you want to be.
Remember: sometimes there is a lag between changing your beliefs and changing your circumstances. Keep in alignment with where you want to be and never lose sight of the fact that "believing supports receiving."
4. The universe won't move until YOU move:
Another misconception with the LOA is that the universe does all the work. Manifestation requires you to take action. If you want something you have to put in the work. When I wanted to go to Sweden I needed to research schools, confirm my eligibility, and submit my application. When I was looking for the perfect partner, I needed to date and learn how to say a loud NO to anyone who came along and didn't make me feel the way I wanted to feel. It sounds simple but sometimes we forget it's a two-way street. The universe is always ready to help, but it needs to see you take action before it steps in to work its magic. Manifestation is co-creation. You can't just sit there and wait for things to happen.
5. There is this thing called Divine Timing:
Ahhh.. divine timing. This one was the hardest for me to learn because my generation expects everything now. There is a plan for your life and while you may want something right away, there is a high chance you need to learn lessons before that something can come your way. What is meant for you will not go past you. Remember that. Patience is virtue. Say you've been busy manifesting a new job in a new city, but you can't get an interview no matter how much you visualize and how many cover letters you write. You are qualified and determined, but stuck in your old hometown. What if you need to stay in your town a little bit longer to meet the love of your life because he wasn't going to be in that new city you planned to go to? After you meet and fall in love, you get the job. This is Divine Timing. There is always a plan, trust it.
'Divine' can mean whatever you want it to mean. For me it's an overarching energy that supports us all. For you it might be karma, fate, or some form of a creator.
6. Manifestation is NOT control:
Too often people try to control other people with the law of attraction. It doesn't work. We have all been gifted with free will (the ability to choose how we want to live our lives) so no amount of practice will work if the person involved in your manifestation doesn't also want what you are trying to manifest. Use the LOA it to better yourself and your life.
Jennifer St. Germain writes all about this. Check her out.
I also wrote another big article on this. It's so, SO important.
7. Life is 100x better when the universe arranges it for you:
No matter how sure I am of something, the universe always surprises me with something better than I could have imagined. The universe knows you better than you know you, so please let it do it's thing! Being rigid is the fastest way to squash a manifestation. Be open to what the universe sends your way. Remember 'rejection is protection' and anything that is lost will always be replaced with something better. Believe in that with your whole heart.
8. Letting go is a skill -one that can be learned:
Letting go of something you desperately want is one of the most challenging things we will experience as human beings. Unfortunately, letting go of what isn't meant for you is key to manifesting what is meant for you. Fortunately, letting go is a skill you can learn. Reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and embracing minimalism in my space helped me be a minimalist in all areas of my life. Since learning this skill, I no longer have space for anything that brings me pain (relationships, friendships, emotions, things) and letting go has become as natural as breathing. The faster you let things go, the faster better things come into your life. This much I know is true.
9. You are supported beyond belief:
You are not alone in this. If you knew how many helpers (angels, guides, ancestors) you had on your side, you would never worry again! Learning to communicate with my angels has helped me 10-fold with manifesting. Asking for signs that I am on the right path and that my manifestation is close helps me keep my faith. Spend some time getting to know your team. They can see where you are going, and are always there for you.
10. You are NOT responsible for everything that happens in your life:
Wait, what? Isn't that contradicting everything you've said above? Kind of, and that's why I left it until the end. It's the most important point to make. When I started social work and began learning about all the horrible things happening to people - in my community, and in the world at large - I broke down. I got depressed. I couldn't get out of bed. There was no way I could practice ethical social work while believing the people I worked with attracted their pain. That's victim blaming. I'm a human rights activist and I wasn't going to go around preaching an ideology that suggested those who have been abused, tortured, assaulted or diagnosed with a terminal illness were responsible for their experience. I really struggled with this concept and it seemed no one had answers. So I stopped practicing the LOA for a while and got confused about what I believed and what I wanted to do with my life. Until I came across the concept of transcendence, of seeing manifestation as "gardening, not architecture". As understanding that really bad things happen to people because we are here to learn and grow, and growth is painful. Manifesting is understanding we have the power to create our lives while also understanding there are some things that are completely out of our control.
"[We are] here to practice transcendence. The level of meaning, purpose, and joy that you can find, infuse, or muster — in spite of it all — that is a reflection of your spiritual effort. Manifesting is more like gardening than architecture." -Slade Robertson
"You do not have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you are holding." -Cheryl Strayed
I crave authenticity and depth of knowledge - so I sometimes get overwhelmed when I see so much LOA information plastered across the web that goes no further than surface level. The LOA is real but it takes a willingness to go deeper, to understand the energy law and its limitations, to find real success. As with anything, this takes time and patience. I hope you can see that those things are worth it, because a creative/intentional life is available to you. You just need to work for it.
Never allow yourself to be a victim of your circumstances. Learn about the LOA and find ways - there are ALWAYS ways - to take forward action in your life.
If you've been feeling stuck with your manifestation practice, or you're curious about the law of attraction but have no clue where to start, I've started a mentorship program for people just like you. Would love to work with you!