I got an email last week asking if I was okay because I haven't been as present with my writing. My quick answer was “thank you for checking in on me! Lots happening behind the scenes. My courses, a new album (first track out tomorrow!) and lots of living!” 

But beneath that has been a deeper shift.

Cause the truth is, beneath the ‘busy’ I’ve been questioning a lot of things, and a big one is if I’m still an empath.

The answer is, yes. 

But for a moment I didn’t know, because I realized I don’t fit the 'list of traits' anymore. 

I don’t forgo my own needs.

Or feel random bouts of unexplainable mental or physical fatigue.

Or experience mood swings.

Or do everything and anything for ANY other being.

And toxicity; 

That’s no longer part of my story.

Boundaries.

Do you have them?

Do you know about them?

Thoughts on them?

Learning to set and enforce boundaries has been a bigggg part of my journey - and it was actually in the conversation where I learned I was an empath that the therapist asked me if I had them. I said no and she sent me home with a bundle of worksheets to begin implementing. The process seemed simple: decide what you do and do not want to experience and communicate it with those your decision will impact. But when I got out into the real world and began practicing what the worksheets were saying I realized very quickly that setting boundaries wasn’t easy.

Because boundaries require a hard no.

A line in the sand.

A decision on what I will and will not stand.

It’s a black and white process.

But I see the world as colourful.

I see why boundaries are important, but also why they put up walls or leave people out.

And I don’t like that.

I like to be accommodating. I don’t want to be mean. I’m filled with reasons for believing others have the best intentions and I don’t need protecting. But as I’ve learned, a yes to someone else is often a no to ourselves, especially when we are prone to over-giving. And that’s an important thing for those of us aware of having a calling to realize if we are to fulfill our mission.

Without them, we spend our days bending over backwards to meet people and their needs.

Or in relationships that aren’t fulfilling.

Because we like helping.

We can see the potential in something.

This world runs on give and take.

Ebb and flow.

Doing for others and having others do for you.

But for us empaths, it often looks like give until you break.

Or burn out.

Or get sick.

Because we are upper chakra beings (if you joined me for the free course I lead last week, you know what that means! If you didn’t, I’m running it again mid December. Here’s the link to join waitlist.) with big hearts that enjoy giving back and helping others. Which is a beautiful thing until it isn’t.

Over-giving leads to feeling drained and from a drained place, it’s impossible to create change.

The topic of receiving has been a big one for me this year.

I had to learn to receive payment for my expertise.

I had to learn to receive compliments and praise.

I had to learn to receive support and feedback from those who love me and those who have the knowledge I need to keep my business growing.

And it wasn’t easy because to me, giving was an addiction.

If you've been reading along you know that at the beginning of 2018 I decided to change everything about what I was experiencing. I was tired. I was burnt out. I was hurting. I had been told many times throughout my life that the change I believed in for the world was idealistic, and that my heart was naive, because good people don’t succeed and life has a way of forcing us off track with our dreams. And when my heart needed a break last November I let those ‘truths’ get to me. I started to believe in what other people were saying.
I felt silly for having big dreams…

Most people who resonate with my work also resonate with the term light worker, someone who knows they are here to bring light to this world. Though I usually lean away from that term,  when terrorist attacks and other world tragedies happen, being a lightworker becomes my reason to get out of bed. As someone with awareness of energy and the awareness for my body and mind's ability to transmute pain into hope, negativity into positivity, I have a duty to get conscious about my mindset and actions when tragedy hits. As someone drawn to this site, you do too. Being a lightworker means being a light despite the pain; it's easy to be positive and mindful when things are going well, it's a lot harder when your heart, mind, body and soul are grieving. And that's what I want to talk about today.

It's not like me to blog on Sundays and this wordsmith doesn't know where to start with her words. She just knows she needs to write them. So I guess I'll just start with: caring about the world can get really heavy sometimes. And I'm certain some of you might have noticed that energy in me. An energy of needing to walk away for a bit. First from Instagram, then from e-mails. An energy of getting laser-focused on what I need to do and letting the rest fall away.

Regardless of whether or not you identify with the empath label, being intuitive and connected to the non-physical world is overwhelming. Not only do you pick up the energy of other people, you also pick up the energy of places and things, including the energy of toxic spaces and non-physical visitors. Most people who are clairsentient (another word sometimes used for empaths) live with anxiety and depression and until they realize what's really going on…

If you are resonating with the term 'empath' you are being encouraged to learn more! Being an empath means having the ability to perceive the world through feeling. Everything is energetic and empaths can tap into the thoughts and emotions of other people, animals, places, and things by physically feeling the energy behind them. I personally believe all of us have the ability to be empaths, some of us were just born more sensitive to our abilities than others. As the world continues to increase in consciousness, more and more people will become empaths. Until then, empaths will struggle because our systems aren't set up to support us...

At the start of my third year of university, I found myself - both literally and metaphorically - on the floor of the psychiatric wing of my local hospital. I was given multiple labels, handed a prescription for an antidepressant and after a few days sent home to rest. I respected the doctor’s expertise but there was something inside that resisted the things he claimed. Was I really mentally ill? Would a pill really help? I wasn't so sure... 

At the end of August my entire world fell apart. Not like kinda fell apart. Like, really fell apart. Everything felt uncertain and heavy - it was as if the universe was pulling all its stops to test me. Had the events of August happened three years earlier I would have probably landed back in the hospital. I would have probably been prescribed an anti-depressant. I would have probably thought there was no reason to go on - but instead I was smiling, making plans, journalling, drinking tea, thinking: this doesn't hurt the way it use to. Here are some reasons I think this might be.