3 myths that keep empaths from their purpose
I was on Pinterest the other day and noticed a quote with my name on it circulating the platform. I didn’t recognize it and thought perhaps someone created it based on a piece of my content. Turns out, I DID make it but forgot about it because it was from one of my first posts. Seeing it threw me down a tunnel of nostalgia and all the feelings I felt when I decided to take a risk on myself and start writing on this blog I now affectionately call the diary.
At the time I had just graduated from social work, excited to have the degree and be part of such an admiral profession, but also deeply aware that being a traditional social worker wasn’t my purpose. I’ve known since I was an infant that I came here with a mission - and a 9 to 5 didn’t feel like it. In fact, a 9 to 5 felt conflicting. Limiting. And not what I was here to be doing. So on the prompting of an ex boyfriend I started writing.
And though he was wonderful in getting me started, I don’t give him all the credit.
Because getting to this point took overcoming so many limiting beliefs that were programmed into my psyche. Beliefs I had to show up and fight each and every day for the first few months of going live. And since I know another wave of healers and creatives is now being prompted to show up, I want to share three of the biggest myths incase they are cropping up.
the three myths that keep empaths from their life purpose
01. “The marketplace is crowded.”
I use ‘market place’ to describe this one because it’s based in a limiting belief fuelled by the competition mindset of wounded capitalism. But reality is, though you might share a skillset or interest with another person, no one is you and no one can deliver that skillset like you’re meant to.
Example: my work with empaths.
I’m not the only person working with empaths and that held me back at first. How will I ever get noticed? There are people who have been doing this work for years who know so much more than I do because it’s been their life’s work. Turns out, I have a radically different perspective on empaths that the world would never have received if I didn’t challenge that nonsense. In fact, just the other day someone emailed me to let me know they were drawn to the self-help world but felt it overwhelming and for some reason my site felt like a calm space to lean in and learn more:
“I am interested in the self-love/energy focused/spiritual world but find many online presences to be generally overwhelming and the market itself to be saturated. With your site it’s so different - it’s welcoming and inviting, and it achieves the peaceful feeling you likely want your visitors to have when they find you. It feels so authentic, the messages are crystal clear and practical. I am a newbie to chakras and [your work] has launched me into reflecting on masculine energy and my need to focus on the lower chakras. I can’t wait to learn even more. Thank you so so much!”
I am an empath but I never felt like I fit in most empath circles. I don’t take (and haven’t taken) part in them aside from my first few weeks learning about empaths and our abilities. From the get-go my heart knew the conversations happening in most empath groups was not a conversation I was here to promote. My perspective is much different; I don’t see our abilities as a curse or myself as a victim to a label. I see our skillset as an asset to our work as changemakers, and that’s what makes me different. I’m also not overly focused on spirituality - although that might be difficult for many who view me objectively. I’m here for practicalities as much as I’m here for dreaming. I’m balanced and I’ve learned that is my purpose. It’s my mission to talk intuition plus how it is relevant, like when you’re an empath in business, and that’s not something others ‘supporting empaths’ were doing when I first started.
In many ways my work has started a small revolution. But I would never have learned that I was capable of that if I didn’t realize it’s me and my perspective that the empath world needed.
That’s not to say it was easy.
I teach empaths to put themselves first because that’s my skillset. I have Aries energy all over my birthchart; I am very good at returning others to self and I had to face a lot of inner-wounding to show up and state that I didn’t believe it was a bad thing to be selfish, or that I choose to not believe in the empath/narcissist relationship.
It wasn’t because I didn’t believe narcissists exist, but because I saw so many using the divide to remain helpless and in situations that drained them of their power, and I came to bridge that. I want to see all empaths empowered and so I had to be assertive in cutting the cord on beliefs that situated us as anything-but the powerful beings we are.
It was challenging, but necessary because the marketplace can’t be crowded if you are being authentic. The only lane you need to be concerned with is your own and if you’re still getting sidetracked, it’s time to turn your focus inward and get real with yourself about who you are and what you, and only you, can offer this world. And hint: it’s usually something you’re afraid of, like the selfish Aries side of me that I now realize is the gift I carry to help so many succeed in breaking free and bringing so much love to this planet.
What might your skillset be? How do you perceive/experience/navigate this world differently?
(Related: If you don’t know your skillset, but you know you’re here for a reason, I help empaths see the worth in who they are and turn their gifts, abilities into a profitable offering.)
02. “OTHERS will make fun of my beliefs and perspective”
Yes, they will. But not those who you are here for. Those who you are here for will be so grateful you had the courage to share your experiences. They will message you at their lowest to say thank you for getting it and you’ll create a network of like minds all over the Internet.
(Or community if you’re based locally.)
It took me a long time to stop being afraid of others and their opinions because I didn’t want to make other people uncomfortable. I still don’t, and so I am strategic. I share where I know I’ll be received but I don’t push others into my beliefs. For example, Instagram. I share openly on that platform, because people have the option to follow or not. At a family dinner? Not so much, because I’ve learned it isn’t my purpose to wake people up. It’s my purpose to live my purpose and feel so good about myself and my decisions that those who want a similar thing feel safe in my energy and receptive to my guidance.
I’m not here to be combative.
I’ve not here to fight against those with different paths to walk in this life.
But I do have the duty to share my truth and help those who need it, because I’m here to be a leader and leaders turn the light within to shine the way forward. They aren’t intimidating but they also aren’t passive - meaning they don’t seek validation from others to keep going. And that’s been a big part of my learning; I’ve had to learn that it’s okay if others don’t like or understand me. What matters is that I do the work to understand myself and keep my heart open for those who need it most.
That’s not to say I stand for any form of injustice.
I just know what battles I am and am not here for and stand strong in that knowing, even if just at times with my energy.
Where might you be holding yourself back because of what another might think? Or overstepping boundaries and demanding another should believe what you believe in? Is that working for you or draining your energy? Energy that could be used to make an impact on the lives who do get it?
03. “I don’t know where to start.”
This is the best excuse to procrastinate, because you do know, you’re just afraid to be a beginner. When the idea to start my blog (for real) pulled at me I found all the reasons to not be ready. Reasons like, I didn’t know enough, or needed to wait until I got my foot in the door professionally.
So I put it off.
But thankfully that ex mentioned above sat me down and told me what he saw in me: someone who was afraid to start because she was afraid to not be perfect.
I took what he said to heart and a few days later came across a quote that said "the first draft of anything is shit” and that was the kick I needed to get over myself because it gave me permission to just begin, even if it was as messy as the first few words on a blog post saying “Hello, I really don’t know how to do this, but I’m trying.”
The quote put my fears into perspective and showed me that the Greats I was looking up to (and comparing myself to) started exactly where I was… fearful and unsure and scattered about what exactly they wanted to do in the world, and that they would never have gotten to where they were (inspiring me and leading the way) if they hadn’t started long before they were ready.
Like me, they too needed to write the first words and hit publish to get the ball rolling.
It’s easy to look at others and wish you were where they are, but in all honesty, you don’t want that because if you’re just starting out you’ll stumble often as you grow into yourself and you’ll have difficult moments while you build up the backbone you’ll need to withstand the pushback you will experience.
And you don’t want the world watching you go through that.
When I first started writing in this space I didn’t know my voice and I didn’t know my messaging; I was still learning. And that meant I had a lot of mistakes to make before I could show up and lead an authentic conversation - and I’m grateful those mistakes were quiet because I didn’t have the self-worth to know that mistakes weren't bad when I first started.
Messing up in front of a big audience would have toppled me.
And having others disagree with what I was writing and teaching (which is now commonplace) would have caused my self-confidence to plummet.
Because I wasn’t steady in myself, yet.
Not when it came to showing up and being myself. I was vulnerable and needed to grow slowly to handle the push back that naturally comes with sharing an opinion and being in any way controversial.
That said, even when I was a beginner, I was able to make an impact.
Like I teach in this free workshop, we are always just a few steps ahead of those we are here to support. The posts I wrote when I first started my blog helped those who were at a similar place on their journey. And those I supported when I first started coaching needed exactly what I could offer in that moment. Some have stayed with me as I’ve grown more and more into myself and my work in this life, but not all have and that’s alright because as a teacher, I can only appear when the student is ready for my messaging… and like myth #2, we aren’t for everybody. Or even the same person for their entire journey.
It’s normal to flow in and out of each other’s lives based on the vibration we are emitting.
And that’s a beautiful thing because it takes the pressure off and allows us all to just be ourselves and trust that those who need us will be drawn to us so long as we keep going and don’t stay stuck because we fear another’s reaction to how we’re growing.
But that’s another myth all together.
Are you procrastinating on making a move because you aren’t yet an expert? How many hearts might miss out on your skillset in your pursuit to be perfect? And who might be waiting on you to just show up?
If this post helped and you feel a pull to take your calling seriously, I take this conversation much further in this free workshop. I created it for the path-pavers like me - to help you know exactly what you’re up against when you take the leap and decide to do your own thing. It’s filled with deep honesty about what it takes to show up, share your heart and earn for your unique abilities as a sensitive/creative/intuitive being.
Here’s the link!
And cheers to your journey!
I say it often, but we’ve got this.
Are you an empath in business, or an empath thinking about starting a business? You might like this! It’s teaches you all of this plus how to turn your gifts and abilities into a profitable offering to sell it authentically.