Life has been throwing some serious curve balls lately!
There has been so much going in in terms of my blog's growth but also my personal growth and it has me in a bit of a headspin wondering where life is going to take me next. I'm also gearing up to say goodbye to the pup we've been fostering for the past month and I've already started grieving, knowing that the next few days are going to be for grieving even more.
It's just a lot.
But at the same time it's all really good and I'm grateful.
Because I know I asked for this. I asked to level up. I asked for support to take my art form higher. I asked to get where I know I'm on route to go, but just because I asked for it doesn't mean it's easy. And just because I asked for it, doesn't mean it all feels good.
If you've been following along, you know I'm supposed to be Sweden. Right now I am supposed to be walking the streets of Stockholm with my friend, practicing the language and soaking up the culture. But I'm here in Canada, in my spooky writing closet, writing a note to you about how I didn't go. And it sucks, but I trust in the process and know I'm exactly where I'm meant to be. My Sweden plans started falling apart a little over a month ago but it wasn't until this past week that I finally let go. I was grasping, clinging, obsessing about 'signs' and wanting to be in control, so I got sick. So so sick by trying to find ways for my plans to work out even when the universe was telling me they couldn't. Sick because I wasn't listening to my Higher self and all the clues she sent me about needing to slow down, reassess and embrace something different.
Sick because when we don't listen, when we demand something when it's not time, the universe will do whatever it can to get us to hear. Sick because things don't always (often) work out how we expect them to so they can work out even better than planned and I needed to get out of my own way to allow that to happen. Sick because though my plans started out for me, they morphed into plans for other people and I needed to remember boundaries and how to put myself and my needs first.
So I'm here in my spooky closet writing to you to let you know that if you've been forcing something and it's not flowing, it's OKAY to take a step back. It's OKAY to admit defeat and it's OKAY to do so with optimism knowing that surrendering doesn't mean what you desire will not happen. It just means it can't happen right now.
When we find the law of attraction and dive into intentional living we learn we are responsible for our reality and that anything we want can be. And it's true, we are responsible for our reality; we get to choose what we want and then choose in every moment to choose to align with it by choosing a higher thought, accepting our emotions as road signs, taking inspired action and leaning into the flow. We also get to choose who we surround ourselves with ( you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with, choose SO wisely ) and what we will and will not tolerate when it comes to people, careers, our time.
Related: The 10 Things I Wish I Knew When I First Started Using The Law Of Attraction
It's also true there is a non-physical world working with us behind the scenes to help make everything come true, but simplifying the law of attraction to "ask, believe, receive" without acknowledging the say the non-physical has in what we experience is the quickest way to fail. There is a plan so much greater and it's hard to remember that when we just want things to work out the way we've asked them to.
I can't be in Sweden and make the professional moves I'm currently making; this time is for being rooted firmly in my routine, not out experiencing new things. The universe knows this and though I haven't accepted it fully, I know I've asked to level up and the non-physical is taking me there, if only I remember to respond to what's happening rather than get upset and react.
Responding vs. reacting is a theme I wove throughout my work because when we react to the things we can't control (think: getting angry, discouraged, forceful), we give our power away, when we respond (think: taking deep breaths, thanking our current situation even when we don't understand it, and leaning into what's showing up instead of wishing things were different), we stay empowered and on course with what we've asked for.
Though I'm not in Sweden, life is still really good.
I have a pup beside me, someone who loves me, my favourite foods in the oven, a safe space to write out my thoughts, my health and a body that works, a few day-trips planned, the smell of fall coming, and so much goodness coming to this space - a new site layout, a sunset/sunrise photography session, some play with podcasting, and lots of productivity with my new coach Alyssa!
Though I'm not in Sweden, I'm still in a really good place.
And that's what I hope you get from this.
When it comes to creating our reality, we are always so focused on the outcome, but life happens in the interim of asking for what we want and getting it. It's the small moments, like these here writing, where we are asked to show up for the process when it doesn't feel like things are moving how we want them to or it feels like the universe is leading us the wrong way.
In a few months this time here will be something we miss, because in it holds moments that can't be replaced; the long summer nights, the rambunctiuous pup with the most beautiful brown eyes, clients who light up my heart, time with my parents, laughing with my sisters and brothers, salty ocean water and searching for interesting rocks, iced coffees, space to grow, the peaceful sound of the fan cooling the room. There is so much goodness happening right now even though things didn't work out how I planned, and though my heart feels a bit heavy and to go-getter in me feels like she failed, I'm going to show up for it all.
I hope wherever you are, whatever you're wishing for, you do too.
Because life doesn't happen at the end of your manifestation list. It's happening right now. No matter where you are or what's going, there is always something to be grateful for and there is always something that won't be around longer than this moment. Acknowledge it. Hold it. Take a deep breath and enjoy it.
Sweden will happen when it's time and I can't wait to see how amazing my time there will be because I made the choice to embrace this sideroad rather than wish I was somewhere different.